The
Story (continued)
Mandrake is marched out of Ripper's office at gunpoint
by the gung-ho Guano to the main gate. Sexually-anxious like
Ripper was, Guano assesses the situation and blames not the Commies
- but "preverts" [his assessment is absolutely correct
- Ripper was a prevert!]. He suspects that Mandrake is one of
them:
I think there's some kind of deviated prevert.
And I think General Ripper found out about your preversion
and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now
move!...All I was told to do was get General Ripper on the
phone with the President of the United States.
As next in command after Ripper, Mandrake insists on
talking to the President by phone in a nearby phone booth. He threatens
Guano:
And I can assure you, if you don't put that gun
away and stop this stupid nonsense, the court of Enquiry on
this'll give you such a pranging, you'll be lucky if you end
up wearing the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant.
Guano is persuaded to let Mandrake enter a pay phone
booth, but warns, with an oft-repeated comedy line: "If you
try any preversions in there, I'll blow your head off." In a
scene filled with irony, Mandrake reaches for his change, places
coins in the slot, and dials the operator for the President, requesting
first a person-to-person call and then a collect call. The collect
call is refused, and Mandrake doesn't have the necessary change to
pay for the call - he's just 20 cents short. He asks Colonel Guano
to shoot the lock off a nearby Coca-Cola machine to obtain change: "Shoot
if off. Shoot with a gun. That's what the bullets are for." Guano
shows extraordinary reverence for corporate property - the Coca-Cola
Company's machine:
That's private property...OK, I'm gonna get
your money for you. But if you don't get the President of
the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen
to you?...You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.
The Colonel fires into the machine, causing coins to
spill out from the coin return slot. As he bends down to scoop them
up, he is showered in the face with a jet stream of Coke from the
rebellious machine.
In the War Room, a voice on the PA announces that the
recall code, OPE, has been successfully transmitted and acknowledged
by the 843 bomber wing (except for four planes that were reported
destroyed by enemy action). Jubilant cheers signal rejoicing over
the announcement - the bomber paths blink out on the Big Board. In
a moment of false religiosity, Turgidson hushes the room, climbs
onto a chair, and offers a military-style prayer to God, as the camera
focuses on Dr. Strangelove in the dark shadows:
I think we ought to all just bow our heads and
give a short prayer of thanks for our deliverance. LORD, we
have heard the wings of the Angel of Death fluttering over
our heads from the Valley of Fear. You have seen fit to deliver
us from the forces of evil...
The prayer is interrupted by a hotline phone call from
Premier Kissof who is "hopping mad." Dmitri reports to
the President that "one of the planes hasn't turned back...it's
headed for the missile complex at Laputa." [Laputa was a country
of single-minded scientist researchers, caricatured in Jonathan Swift's
1726 Gulliver's Travels. Also, translated from Spanish and
Italian, it means "whore" - adding more meaning to the
film's sexual symbolism.] The Russian air defense staff claims only
three aircraft have been destroyed and the fourth plane, Kong's damaged
plane flying at a low altitude, is still on its way to its target. "The
fourth may only be damaged"
- because it fails to respond to the recall code.
Turgidson is immediately suspicious: "I'm beginning
to smell a big fat Commie rat. I mean, supposin' Kissof is lyin'
about that fourth plane, just lookin' for an excuse to clobber us.
I mean, if the spaghetti hits the fan, now we're really in trouble." President
Muffley returns to the phone, encouraging the Soviet premier to put
all their air power into the two target sectors of the B-52 to defend
Laputa, the plane's primary target in the Soviet Union:
Dmitri, look, if this report is true and the
plane manages to bomb the target, is it...is this going to...is
this going to set off the Doomsday Machine? Are you sure? Well,
I...I guess you're just gonna have to get that plane, Dmitri.
Dmitri, I'm sorry they're jamming your radar and flying so
low, but they're trained to do it. You know, it's, it's initiative!
Look, Dmitri, you know exactly where they're going and I'm
sure your entire air defense can stop a single plane. Listen,
I mean, it's not gonna help either one of us if a, if the,
if the Doomsday Machine goes off, now is it? Dmi...Dmitri,
there's no point in you getting hysterical at a moment like
this! Dmitri! Keep your feet on the ground when you're talking,
Dmitri...Can I give you just one word of advice, Dmitri? Listen,
Dmitri, put everything you've got into those two sectors and
you can't miss.
But they will be doomed to miss - the navigator on
the B-52 re-evaluates the situation and reports greater fuel loss
than anticipated, advising that the aircraft cannot reach either
its primary or secondary targets. Kong is exasperated and asks the
crew to find another target that they can reach [the phallic-shaped
B-52 is racing toward completion of the sex act]: "Well, shoot.
We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink. What's
the nearest target opportunity?" The navigator and bombadier
select a new course and target - the ICBM complex at Kodlosk.
Muffley finishes his conversation with Dmitri and then
asks Turgidson about the B-52 plane's ability to carry out its mission.
Turgidson can barely contain his excitement that the plane might
succeed:
President: Is there really a chance for that
plane to get through?
Turgidson: Mr. President, if I may speak freely, the Russkie
talks big, but frankly, we think he's short of know-how. I mean,
you just can't expect a bunch of ignorant peons to understand
a machine like some of our boys. And that's not meant as an insult,
Mr. Ambassador, I mean, you, you take your average Russkie, we
all know how much guts he's got. Hell, look, look at all them
them Nazis killed off and they still wouldn't quit...if the pilot's
good, see, I mean, if he's really..sharp, he can barrel
that baby in so low (he spreads his arms like wings and
laughs), you oughtta see it sometime, it's a sight. A big plane
like a '52. VRROOM! There's jet exhaust, fryin' chickens in the
barnyard.
President: Yeah, but has he got a chance?
Turgidson: Has he got a chance? Hell, Ye...ye... (He covers his
mouth dumbstruck, suddenly and solemnly grasping the implications
of his words.)
The film is near its conclusion with the unforgettable
scene of the "Leper Colony" bomber plane approaching closer
and closer to its target. As the airship approaches its new objective
with the bombing plane's theme song: When Johnny Comes Marching
Home Again playing on the soundtrack, Major Kong and bombardier
Lieut. Lothar Zogg (James Earl Jones) make final bomb run technical
checks: bomb fusing circuits, the bomb arming test lights, the primary
trigger switch override, the track indicators for maximum deflection,
the detonator set at zero altitude, and safety releases. Then Kong
finds that one of the bomb bay doors won't open - "the teleflex
drive cable must be sheared away."
He leaves his cockpit seat to fix to faulty bomb-release mechanism
manually, telling his co-pilot Capt. G. A. "Ace" Owens (Shane
Rimmer): "Stay on the bomb run, Ace. I'm goin' down below and
see what I can do." He proceeds through the hatch to the bomb
bay, telling the D.S.O. and crew:
Stay on the bomb run, boys. I'm gonna get them
doors open if it hare lips everybody on Bear Creek.
There are two huge nuclear warhead bombs in the foreground,
each labeled with sexual salutations: "Hi There!" (a homosexual
advance), the other labeled
"Dear John!" (the typical opening of a letter that ends a
relationship). Kong sees a sparking tangle of wires, and climbs astride
the "Hi There!" bomb like a bucking bronco, fanning the flaring
sparks with his cowboy's Stetson hat. Sweating profusely, he busily
works to fuse two wires together to rewire the door circuitry. Ace
asks anxiously: "Roger, 3 miles. Target in sight! Where in hell
is Major Kong?" as Kong attaches an alligator clip to a patch
panel above his head, causing the bomb doors to open wide.
The film has given us a memorable cultural image. When
the bomb doors open, he first grabs onto his Stetson to avoid losing
it in the sudden draft of air. The Hi There! bomb is dislodged, with
Kong riding on it - the huge bomb [a potent swollen phallic symbol]
between his legs. The bombardier asks: "Hey, what about Major
Kong?" Kong is flailing the bomb with his hat like a rodeo
cowboy atop a bucking bronco, howling wildly toward oblivion: "YAHOO!!
YAHOO!!" as it malevolently descends toward its target and
detonates in a white, climactic flash on the ground.
In the War Room in the final scene, the prophet of
doom with a frozen smile - the villainous Dr. Strangelove, makes
an abrupt turn - signalling the major turn of events for the world.
He swings around in his wheelchair from the Big Board, explaining
that all is not lost. After making calculations with a circular slide
rule, he proposes an idea for a one hundred year plan for survival
- life can continue underground until radioactivity diminishes. But
he cannot control a slip-of-the-tongue when he addresses the President
as
"Mein Fuehrer" while dreaming of an underground bunker world
populated by
"top government and military men" after the impending apocalypse:
Strangelove: I would not rule out the chance
to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be
quite easy...heh, heh...(He rolls his wheelchair forward into
the light) at the bottom of ah...some of our deeper mineshafts.
Radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of
feet deep, and in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements
in drilling space could easily be provided.
President: How long would you have to stay down there?
Strangelove: ...I would think that uh, possibly uh...one hundred
years...It would not be difficult Mein Fuehrer! Nuclear
reactors could, heh...I'm sorry, Mr. President. Nuclear reactors
could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain
plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered.
A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine
sites in the country, but I would guess that dwelling space for
several hundred thousands of our people could easily be provided.
President: Well, I, I would hate to have to decide...who stays
up and...who goes down.
Strangelove: Well, that would not be necessary, Mr. President.
It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer
could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual
fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary
skills. Of course, it would be absolutely vital that our top
government and military men be included to foster and impart
the required principles of leadership and tradition.
His thoughts of personal survival underground after
the end of the world energize Dr. Strangelove - his left fist slams
down and his black-gloved mechanical right arm reflexes into an unintentional
Nazi salute ('Sieg Heil'). He pulls his right arm back into his lap,
fighting off his own, spring-loaded gloved hand with his good arm.
[His affliction, known as 'alien hand syndrome,' is an actual but
rare physical affliction due to stroke, brain surgery, infection,
or other kinds of brain injury.] With an absurd grin on his face,
his own sexual pleasure is kindled as he excitedly talks about selective
sexual breeding at a ratio of 10 females to one male. Society's male
elite would be surrounded by a contingent of beautiful women in underground
hideouts - their couplings would eventually repopulate the planet:
Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh?
There would be much time, and little to do. Ha, ha. But ah,
with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten
females to each male, I would guess that they could then work
their way back to the present Gross National Product within
say, twenty years.
The President is concerned about the depression of
the grief-stricken survivors:
"Wouldn't this nucleus of survivors be so grief-stricken and anguished
that they'd, well, envy the dead and not want to go on living?" Strangelove
isn't worried, but must first beat his wayward, lethally-impulsive
right arm with his left before answering: "When they go down into
the mine, everyone would still be alive. There would be no shocking
memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those
left behind, combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure
ahead! Ahhh!"
With his recurring muscular tic, Dr. Strangelove's
right arm again reflexes into a Nazi salute. He pulls it back into
his lap and beats at it. His gloved hand attempts self-strangulation.
Of course, Turgidson is intrigued by the sexual implications of Strangelove's
hundred year plan:
Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of
ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment
of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean,
as far as men were concerned?
Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice
required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that
since each man will be required to do prodigious...service along
these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual
characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating
nature.
Russian Ambassador: I must confess, you have an astonishingly
good idea there, Doctor.
Strangelove's future vision of "strange love" imagines
love-less, assembly-line, mechanical sex, in a world in which everyone
can "Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb."
As they discuss hypothetical possibilities while time
ticks away, the world is on a course toward Doomsday, as viewed in
the first scene of the film. Turgidson is paranoid about Russian
military supremacy in a hundred years when they would emerge from
the deep mine shafts. He suggests stockpiling nuclear weapons and
fighting for more potency to support "mine shaft space"
[sexual breeding space]: "Supposing the Russkies stashed away
some big bombs, see, and we didn't. When they come out in a hundred
years they could take over!" A General agrees with Turgidson: "...In
fact, they might even try an immediate sneak attack so they could take
over our mineshaft space."
The Russian Ambassador has, meanwhile, quietly drifted
away from the crowd around Strangelove over to the banquet table,
where he surreptitiously takes photographs of the Big Board with
a secret camera concealed in his pocket watch. Turgidson suggests
increasing alertness against Soviet conspiracy:
We must be...increasingly on the alert to prevent
them from taking over other mineshaft space, in order to breed
more prodigiously than we do, thus, knocking us out in superior
numbers when we emerge! Mr. President, we must not allow...a
mine shaft gap!
Ecstatic over the total annihilation of the Earth,
Dr. Strangelove "resurrects"
himself, miraculously regaining his ability to walk. His mechanical,
robot-like body rises out of his wheelchair, crying exultantly:
Sir! I have a plan. Heh. (He realizes he is standing
up.) Mein Fuehrer, I can walk!
The Doomsday Machine is triggered and the world is
destroyed. A chorus of H-bomb mushroom clouds [unclassified stock
newsreel footage from 1963 including the original Trinity test in
1945, other atmospheric explosions, and the Bikini Island blast]
spread as multiple explosions detonate around the world [endless
orgasms?], annihilating and causing oblivion by radioactive fallout
to millions of people. The popular, comforting WW II tune We'll
Meet Again Some Sunny Day [originally recorded by singer Vera
Lynn] plays in incongruous juxtaposition:
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know
when
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day
Keep smiling through, just like you always do
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away
So will you please say hello to the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know, that as you saw me go
I was singing this song..
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