The Cable Guy (1996)

• the "Medieval Times" dinner theatre scene in which clingy and needy cable guy Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey) took cheating cable customer Steven Kovacs (Matthew Broderick) to the "finest restaurant in town" -- "Medieval Times" -- where they were waited upon by "serving wench Melinda" (Janine Garafolo); Chip ordered for them: "Dos thus have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate; he has been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has the king's thirst for the frosty brew dos thou might have for thus!"; when she returned to the table, Steven asked for a knife and fork, but was denied: ("There weren't any utensils in medieval times. Hence, there are no utensils at Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?"); he wondered about the incongruities: "There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?" - she rebuked him: "Dude, I got a lot of tables"
• also the scene of Chip pretending to be Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs (1991) by placing pieces of chicken skin on his face: "Hello Clarice, it's good to see you again"
• the moment when the two of them - armor-clad "noblemen" from the audience - were called upon to "battle to the death" in the arena with swords and other medieval weapons

Caddyshack (1980)

• the dancing gopher in the opening (and closing) credits sequence, to the tune of Kenny Loggins' song: "I'm Alright"
• the memorable characters associated with the Bushwood Country Club, including its lunatic, dim-witted greenskeeper Carl Spackler (Bill Murray)
• his boss Sandy's (Thomas A. Carlin) request - misinterpreted: "I want you to kill every gopher on the course" - with Carl's reply: "Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key." Sandy clarified: "Gophers, ya great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!"
• the demented Spackler's fixation and obsession about destroying the intrusive gophers, while loading his shotgun (with an attached light), of why Varmint Cong (gophers) had to die: "License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So what you gotta do, you gotta fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote"
• later, his speech as he molded clay models of a squirrel and rabbit: ("I have to laugh, because I've often asked myself. My foe, my enemy, is an animal, and in order to conquer him, I have to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the gopher's ally? His friend? The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit. I'm gonna use you two guys to do my dirty work for me")
• Spackler's threat to the animal as he planted dynamite in the gopher's hole, and tried to lure it with his Mr. Squirrel clay model: ("Anybody home? Uh, hello, Mr. Gopher. Yeah, it's me, Mr. Squirrel. Yeah, hi. Uh, just a harmless squirrel, not a plastic explosive or anything, nothing to be worried about. I'm just here to make your last hours on earth as peaceful as possible...In the words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher.' This is gonna be sweet")
• speech-impaired, wacky Carl Spackler's recounting, to another incredulous caddy, of how he once caddied for the Dalai Lama in Tibet: ("So we finish 18, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say: 'Hey, Lama! Hey, how about a little somethin', you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says: 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice")
• also, Spackler's "It's In the Hole!" Cinderella story and golf fantasies when he pretended to be an announcer and player, imagining himself at Augusta in a championship Masters golf game, while he was actually practicing teeing off by whacking down rows of planted flowers: ("The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta, the normally reserved Augusta crowd, going wild, for this young Cinderella. He's come outta nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left. He's gonna hit about a 5-iron, I expect, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing -- that's -- oh, he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that. The crowd is just on its feet here. He's the Cinderella boy, uh -- tears in his eyes I guess, as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left. And he's got about a -- it looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper and now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! IT'S IN THE HOLE!")
• the advice given by blindfolded golfer Ty Webb (Chevy Chase) to caddy Danny Noonan (Michael O'Keefe): ("I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball!"); and Ty's other Zen-like pronouncements: ("A flute without holes is not a flute. And a donut without a hole is a Danish" or "You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body")
• the scene of Carl taking a bishop onto the course for a last round of golf during a thunderstorm - when lightning struck the religious man - and Carl skulked off
• one of the golfers - elitist Judge Elihu Smails (Ted Knight), one of the club's co-founders, accompanied by his sex-loving, bra-less young blonde niece Lacy Underall (Cindy Morgan), who was judged by ogling males as "Madonna with meatballs"; Ty's awkwardly-delivered pick-up line to Lacy: ("What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape. How come you're here?")
• the scene of the performance of a Busby Berkeley-style water ballet by golf caddies in the pool - and the scatological moment that a floating "Baby Ruth" candy bar thrown into the pool ("Doodie!") sent swimmers screaming from the water in a Jaws-inspired panic - and the shock and fainting caused when Spackler (after the pool was "scrubbed, sterilized and disinfected") ate the brown object and claimed: ("There it is! It's no big deal!")
• the boorish, nouveau-riche, brash wisecracking loudmouth club member Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield in his feature film debut) and his many one-liners: ("Oh, this is the worst lookin' hat I ever saw. You buy a hat like this, I betcha get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though!"), or "Hey, you wanna make $14 dollars the hard way?", or after farting at the table during dinner: "Oh, (did) somebody step on a duck?"
• also, Al's insulting words to an older white-haired lady: "Oh, this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you're alright. You musta been somethin' before electricity," and "The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it", and his curtain-closing invitation: "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"

The Cameraman (1928)

• co-director/actor Buster Keaton's classic comedy about a photographer named Buster (Buster Keaton himself) who became a newsreel-cameraman to win over pretty MGM secretary Sally (Marceline Day) - this was Keaton's first film with a big studio - MGM
• the embarrassing screening of Buster's first test film reel - a series of double-exposed footage that showed a battleship floating down a street, and pedestrians being run over by buses and cars
• the famous, fully-improvised, pantomimed one-man baseball game (filmed at Yankee Stadium)
• the small-scale changing-room bathhouse scene: in the crowded men's locker room of a public swimming pool, Buster was confronted in one of the tiny cubicle-booths by a burly man (Edward Brophy) who wasn't willing to compromise and share the small space; when Buster asserted: "This is my dressing room!", the man threatened: "Shut up... or it'll be your coffin!"; Buster was forced into a corner, became entangled in the man's suspenders and clothing, and eventually ended up on the man's back, who complained: "Will you keep out of my undershirt?"
• the funny visual sight of Buster exiting the bath-house dressing room, wearing an oversized, ill-fitting bathing costume, and losing his suit in the public pool after attempting to impress Sally with a fancy dive (and staying underwater to hide being naked), including diving deep to avoid Sally's request: "Let's get out of here and go walking on the beach"

Cat Ballou (1965)

• the dual roles of evil twins both played by the often type-cast actor Lee Marvin - who spoofed his own macho image:
  (1) Tim Strawn or Silvernose - a tough gunslinger with a tin nose (after his own was bitten off during a fight) and
  (2) Kid Shelleen - a whiskey-soaked, fast-draw gunfighter and staggering drunkard who sang "Happy Birthday" when he saw candles during a funeral
• the scene of Shelleen leaning against a building in a drunken stupor on his horse

Chasing Amy (1997)

• the scene during a panel seminar at a comic convention, when Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) asked black activist Hooper X (Dwight Ewell), author of the comic 'White Hating Coon', the ill-advised question: "What's a Nubian?"
• the question was followed by Hooper's reply about how Star Wars was a racist film: "Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!"; when Banky replied: "Well, isn't that true?", Hooper pulled out a gun and shot Banky while crying out: "Black Rage!" (it was only a set-up)

Chicken Run (2000)

• the repeated futile and disastrous attempts of fiesty heroine Ginger (voice of Julie Sawalha) to escape from the 'concentration camp' chicken coop (with barbed wire and a high fence) of evil, money-hungry Mrs. Tweedy (voice of Miranda Richardson)
• dim-witted Babs' (voice of Jane Horrocks) statement: "I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy" - and her disappointment after a near-death experience: "All me life flashed before me eyes... it was really boring"
• the entrance of swaggering, smooth-talking American rooster Rocky (voice of Mel Gibson), who falsely claimed he could fly: ("The name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. Rhodes for short...Catchy, ain't it?"), and his explanation of why he came to England: ("Why, all the beautiful English chicks, of course")
• Rocky's daring rescue of Ginger from the Tweedy's Rube Goldberg-like chicken pie-making machine, when they were both in danger of becoming chicken pie ingredients: ("It's like an oven in here")
• the crowd-pleasing climax when Mrs. Tweedy, clinging to a rope of Christmas lights attached to a chicken-shaped flying aircraft (the Old Crate), swiped her axe at Ginger -- momentarily, it seemed as if Ginger had been beheaded, but revealed she'd ducked and tricked Tweedy into severing the line, causing Mrs. Tweedy to plunge head-first into a vent of her own pie-making machine -- as her hen-pecked husband (voice of Tony Haygarth) smugly told her: "I told you they was organized!" - and the explosion of the entire machine from a build-up of pressure
• in the end credits, the chicken-and-egg debate between two black-marketing, wisecracking rodent-rats Nick (voice of Timothy Spall) and Fetcher (voice of Phil Daniels): (Fetcher: "If you don't have a chicken, where are you gonna get an egg?" Nick: "From the chicken that comes from the egg." Fetcher: "Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken." Nick: "Yeah, but you've got to get the chicken first to get the egg, and then you get the egg..."); earlier during the film, they had numerous quotable lines: ("Birds of a feather flop together!", "Is that your first of-fence?", "Poultry in motion!")

A Chump at Oxford (1940)

• a full-length Laurel and Hardy comedy, with the duo sent to Oxford for an educational reward after foiling a bank robbery
• in one hilarious scene, Stan (dressed as a maid) was told to "serve the salad without dressing"
• in another, they were terrified of a man dressed up as a ghost
• the scene of Stan transformed into his alter ego - the brilliant academic Lord Paddington (who lost his memory several years earlier from a knock on the head and had vanished)

The Circus (1928)

• the brilliantly-choreographed scene of the Tramp (director/actor Charlie Chaplin) eluding a real pickpocket and cop in the hall of mirrors (Mirror Maze), after being mistaken by the police as the pickpocket-crook
• his antics in a circus environment where he inadvertently became part of the show as a prop man
• his eating of a hotdog from the extended hand of a baby in its father's arms
• the scenes of being locked in a cage with a sleeping lion (and a barking dog outside)
• the tightrope act attempt with a wild monkey on his head and biting his nose
• the classic memorable finale in which The Tramp walked in the opposite direction away from the departing circus

Citizen Kane (1941)

• the scene of reporter Jerry Thompson's (William Alland) playful question to the prim attendant at the Walter Parks Thatcher Library, "You're not Rosebud, are you?"
• Kane's (Orson Welles) office party with the jauntily sung Charlie Kane Song ("There is a man - a certain man") with dancing chorus-girls

City Lights (1931)

• the Tramp's (Charlie Chaplin) mocking of talkies in the opening scene - his unsuccessful attempts to extricate himself from the lap of a large marble statue - with a giant sword catching the seat of his pants
• the Tramp's encounters with a drunken millionaire who repeatedly attempted suicide
• the scene of the Tramp admiring a store window - and just missing falling into a freight elevator hole behind him
• the marvelous pantomime of the prize fight episode in which the Tramp tried to raise money for a beautiful blind flower girl's (Virginia Cherrill) operation by entering the boxing ring in a balletic bout that he believed had been fixed - he danced around the ring to evade his opponent by hiding behind the ring referee
• the slapstick scene when the blind flower girl was knitting and she pulled a thread from the Tramp's vest and completely unraveled it
• the hilarious spaghetti-confetti sequence in which the Tramp confused the spaghetti on his plate with strings of streamers
• the tearful, sentimental ending when the Tramp first saw the blind girl - now with restored sight in the flower shop window of her successful business
• the moment that she took pity on a trampish beggar - and simultaneously realized that he was her unlikely benefactor-savior when she had a moment of hand-held recognition - this was followed by a closeup of the Tramp's face and smile (with a rose stem in his mouth) after she identified him

City Slickers (1991)

• the character of tough, straight-faced, leathery ("He's like a saddlebag with eyes"), intimidating and crusty Southwest trail boss Curly (Jack Palance) who showed the ropes to three urban mid-lifers: Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal), Phil Berquist (Daniel Stern) and Ed Furillo (Bruno Kirby), who were on a lengthy cattle-drive "vacation" at Stone Canyon Ranch
• Curly's bragging to Manhattan radio-ad salesman Mitch: "I crap bigger than you"
• also the scene of 'career day' at his child's grade school, when Mitch delivered a morose "What is life?" speech that forecast a bleak future of aging for everyone: "Value this time in your life, kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so fast. When you're a teenager, you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Thirties - you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself: 'What happened to my twenties?' Forties - you grow a little pot belly, you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Fifties - you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a 'procedure', but it's a surgery. Sixties - you'll have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies - you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale. You start eating dinner at two o'clock in the afternoon, you have lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. You spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate soft yogurt and muttering: 'How come the kids don't call?' 'How come the kids don't call?' The eighties, you'll have a major stroke. You end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions?"

Clerks (1994)

• a foul-mouthed comedy with some outrageous laughs about two clerks in Asbury Park, NJ stores: convenience store clerk Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) and his grungy anti-social video-store clerk friend Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson)
• the anti-smoking diatribe of a Chewlies Gum Representative (Scott Schiaffo) speaking to a convenience store customer, arguing that for his health's sake, he should buy gum instead of cigarettes and save his money: ("This is where you're heading. Cruddy lung, smoking through a hole in your throat. Do you really want that?")
• his more general rant against the cancer-causing smoking industry: ("You're spending what? Twenty, maybe thirty dollars a week on your cigarettes?... Fifty-three dollars a week on cigarettes! Come on! Would you give somebody that much money each week to kill you? 'Cause that's what you're doing now, by paying for this so-called privilege to smoke... It's that kinda mentality that allows the cancer-producing industry to thrive. 'Course we're all gonna die some day. But do we have to pay for it? Do we have to actually throw hard-earned dollars down on the counter and say, 'Please Mr. Merchant-of-Death, sir, please, sell me something that'll stink up my breath and my clothes and fry my lungs'? ...Yeah. Yeah, and now here comes the speech about how he's just doing his job by following orders. Friends, let me tell you about another group of hate mongers that were just following orders. They were called Nazis!...Yeah, and they practically wiped an entire nation of people off the Earth just like your cigarettes are doing now")
• the "I'm 37!?" scene when Dante's girlfriend Veronica (Marilyn Ghigliotti) told her shocked boyfriend the honest truth about her sexual history, that she delivered 37 instances of fellatio: (Dante: "...I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!...How many?...How many d--ks have you sucked?" and Veronica's reply: "Something like - 36..." and including him, it was 37)
• the appalling scene in which clerk Randal phone-ordered X-rated stock (with really filthy titles like "Cum Clean," "All Tit-F--king, Volume 8," "I Need Your C--k," "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers," "My C--t Needs Shafts," etc.) from his distributor in front of a customer at the counter - a Mom (Connie O'Connor) and her young daughter who wished to purchase "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup"
• Randal's ludicrous Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) dialogue with Dante about the ethics of the destruction of the second Death Star when innocent independent contractors lost their lives - the ending of the film: ("Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my finger on it, but something just wasn't right....The first Death Star was manned by the lmperial Army. The only people on board were Storm Troopers, dignitaries, lmperialists....So when they blew it up, no problem. Evil's punished....") - the second time around, when independent contractors were working on the uncompleted Death Star, they became innocent victims: ("...the second time around, it wasn't even done being built yet. It was still under construction....all those innocent contractors brought in to do the job are killed, casualties of a war they had nothin' to do with....Look, you're a roofer. Some juicy government contract comes your way. You got a wife and kids, the two-story in suburbia. This is a government contract which means all sorts of benefits. Along come these left-wing militants who blast everything within a three-mile radius with their lasers. You didn't ask for that. You had no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living")
• the "We're so Advanced" diatribe delivered by Randal to Dante about working in a low-level convenience store job: ("Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder, like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you over-compensate for havin' what's basically a monkey's job. You push f--kin' buttons! Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs. You, you're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante, and badly I might add. I work in a s--tty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man, he has no delusions about what he does. Us - we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper or God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so f--kin' advanced, what are we doin' working here?")

Clueless (1995)

• Alicia Silverstone's portrayal in this teen-oriented, coming-of-age comedy, of self-centered, ultra-rich Beverly Hills Valley-Girl high-schooler Cherilyn "Cher" Horowitz, with her distinctive lingo, including such expressions as: the PC-correct "hymenally-challenged" (instead of virgin), "as if," "surfing the crimson wave", "Baldwin" (meaning a very handsome male), "Betty" (Cher's term for the perfect girl), and "Monet" - ("It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess")
• the opening scene in which she picked out her outfit for school - using a computer to match her tops and bottoms: ("I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl. I mean, I get up, I brush my teeth. And I pick out my school clothes")
• the classroom debate scene in which Cher debated immigration policy ('Should all oppressed people be allowed refuge in America') for two minutes against Amber (Elisa Donovan), when she talked about Haitian (pronounced 'Hay-tee-ans') and used a garden party anecdote: ("But it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that, like, did not R.S.V.P. So I was, like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier! And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty"); after Cher's side was presented, Amber claimed that she couldn't argue against Cher's inane statements: "If she doesn't do the assignment, I can't do mine"
• Cher's father Mel's (Dan Hedaya) warning to a date: "Anything happens to my daughter, I've got a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you"
• the scene of Cher's mugging when she was robbed of her cellphone and bag, and forced to lie face-down on the pavement, and her excuse not to - it would ruin her dress: ("Oh, no. You don't understand. This is an Alaia....It's, like a totally important designer")
• Cher's attitude toward report cards: ("Some teachers were trying to lowball me, Daddy. You say never accept a first offer. These grades are a jumping-off point to start negotiations"), and her father's surprise at her improved report card when she argued her way from a C+ to an A- and asserted: ("Totally based on my powers of persuasion")
• the freeway driving scene ("We're on the freeway!") in which Cher's best friend Dionne Davenport (Stacey Dash) was driving for the first time on an LA freeway, and her boyfriend Murray (Donald Faison) tried to offer helpful instruction, while everyone was freaking out, until they exited safely and Dionne and Murray kissed: (Cher: "Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize how important love is. After that, Dionne's virginity went from technical to non-existent. And I realized how much I wanted a boyfriend of my own")
• the scene of Cher's driving test with a DMV officer, when she almost hit a bicyclist, and also side-swiped another car when moving to the right lane in her Jeep: ("Oh, my bad!" and "Oh, should I write them a note?"), and the officer's assessment: ("We're going back to the DMV...It's over...How'd you do? Ha, ha, ha. Well, let's see, shall we? You can't park, you can't switch lanes, you can't make right hand turns, you damaged private property and you almost killed someone. Off hand, I'd say you failed")
• and ultimately, Cher's finding of unexpected romance with her ex-stepbrother Josh (Paul Rudd) on her stairway, and sharing a tender kiss with him after he complimented her; she revealed her love for him: ("You're young and you're beautiful...You know you're gorgeous, all right? And popular and, uh, and... but this is not, you know, why I'm here...Are you saying you care about me?") - Cher summarized: ("Well, you can guess what happened next"), although she was humorously referring to a match-making wedding she attended between two nerdy teachers Mr. Hall (Wallace Shawn) and Ms. Geist (Twink Caplan), where she was able to kiss Josh after catching the flower bouquet

The Cocoanuts (1929)

• the numerous puns (Groucho and the famous ice-water routine: "Oh, you want some [ice water]. Get some onions, that'll make your eyes (ice) water" and "On this site we're going to build an Eye and Ear Hospital. This is going to be a sight for sore eyes") and one-liners ("Believe me, you gotta get up early if you want to get out of bed")
• the many insults and attempts by corrupt real estate salesman and leering hotel manager Hammer (Groucho Marx) at courting wealthy widow Mrs. Potter (Margaret Dumont): ("Are you sure your husband's dead?...Tonight, when the moon is sneaking around the clouds, I'll be sneaking around you. I'll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now—you and the moon. You wear a neck-tie so I'll know you" and "Your eyes, your eyes, they shine like the pants of a blue serge suit. That's not a reflection on you—it's on the pants")
• the crazy 'swapping bedrooms' scene between two adjoining or connecting hotel rooms
• the non-sequitur reenactment of Willard's famous "Spirit Of 76" painting in the hotel lobby
• the famous tongue-twisting, precisely-timed "viaduct"/"Why a Duck?" routine between con man guest Chico (Chico Marx) and Hammer with a wet blueprint: (Hammer: "Now here is a little peninsula and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland." Chico: "Why a duck?")
• the rigged land auction scene led by Hammer: ("I’ll wrestle any man here for five dollars!" and "You can have any kind of a home you want to. You can even get stucco. Oh, how you can get stucco") during which Chico did most of the bidding
• the "I Want My Shirt" scene after the brothers had played tic-tac-toe on Detective Hennessey's (Basil Ruysdael) undershirt

Coming to America (1988)

• the scene of wealthy, sweet-natured African Prince Akeem's (Eddie Murphy) bath on his 21st birthday, when a Nubian bathing attendant (Victoria Dillard) declared after emerging from under the water: "The royal penis is clean, your Highness"
• the scene on a New York fire-escape, when Prince Akeem called out to his tenement neighbors: "Good morning, my neighbors!"; an unidentified voice responded: "Hey, f--k you!"; Akeem happily returned the compliment: "Yes, yes! F--k you too!"
• the famous barbershop scene, in which five characters (two played by Eddie Murphy (including an elderly white Jewish man) and two played by Arsenio Hall) argued about the best boxer in history: (Clarence: "There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out of their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't s--t"); the eldery white Jewish man retorted: "He beat Joe Louis' ass"
• when Akeem sat down in the barber's chair and showed off his ponytail, he claimed: "It's my natural hair. I'm been growing it since birth"; the barber asked: "What kind of chemicals you got in there?" Akeem answered: "I don't put no chemicals, only juices and berries"; the barber disagreed: "That ain't nothin' but Ultra-Perm. Tell me how you want me to cut this?" Akeem specified: "Just make it nice and neat"; after one quick snip of the ponytail, the eight-dollar haircut consisted on only one scissors cut
• the scene of Akeem and Semmi (Arsenio Hall) in a club bar interviewing NYC candidates as Akeem's bride-to-be:
  - one large black woman complained: "I can't find a man that can satisfy me. Now, some guys go an hour, hour and a half. That's it. A man's got to put in overtime for me to get off"
  - another pretty one claimed: "I'm not interested in a man unless he drives a BMW"
  - a third said: "I'm almost single. My husband's on death-row"
  - two twin sisters asserted, in unison: "This is the first date Teresa and I have been on since the doctor separated us"
  - a black woman with big breasts boasted: "I'm into the group thing"
  - a masochistic female who burned her hand with a lighter said: "I was Joan of Arc in my former life"
  - two black rappers sang together: "My name is Peaches, and I'm the best. All the DJs want to feel my breasts"
  - a long-winded starlet asserted: "I want to work in video, but really I want to be my own star in the videos, because I wanna become a pop singer, and a rock singer, and write my own songs, produce my own songs. And then I'm gonna try an actress, because people tell me how talented I am, I'm a natural and stuff like that. So, then I'm gonna write my own stories and direct my own stories, you know, produce the movies I'm doing..."
  - and finally, the last candidate (Arsenio Hall in drag) apologized: "I hope you don't mind me coming over and sitting down. But I'm been watching you all evening. And I want to tear you apart, and your friend too"; Semmi did a spit-take at the thought!
• the scene in which fast food manager Cleo McDowell (John Amos) explained the difference between his restaurant and McDonalds: "Look, me and the McDonald's people, we've got this little misunderstanding, hmm? See, they're McDonald's. I'm McDowell's. Huh? They've got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They say they got the Big Mac. I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but they use a sesame seed bun. My buns have no seeds"

The Court Jester (1956)

• the film was notorious for its infamous, tongue-twisting and rhyming wordplay and convoluted dialogue
• the mad-cap comedy was about a spy - medieval carnival entertainer-performer Hubert Hawkins (Danny Kaye) - who was to infiltrate into the ranks of the evil and tyrannical King Roderick (Cecil Parker) by impersonating or masquerading as court jester Giacomo (also Danny Kaye); his objective was to restore the rightful heir to the throne - a baby boy with a royal birthmark (the purple pimpernel) on his behind
• the first tongue-twister was between King Roderick and Hubert Hawkins:
  - The Duke. What did the Duke do?
  - Uh, the Duke do?
  - Yes. And what about the Doge?
  - Oh, the Doge!
  - Uh. Well what did the Doge do?
  - The Doge do?
  - Yes, the Doge do.
  - Well, uh, the Doge did what the Doge does. Uh, when the Doge does his duty to the Duke, that is.
  - What? What's that?
  - Oh, it's very simple, sire. When the Doge did his duty and the Duke didn't, that's when the Duchess did the dirt to the Duke with the Doge.
  - Who did what to what?
  - Oh, they all did, sire. There they were in the dark; the Duke with his dagger, the Doge with his dart, and the Duchess with her dirk.
  - Duchess with her dirk?
  - Yes! The Duchess dove at the Duke just when the Duke dove at the Doge. Now the Duke ducked, the Doge dodged, and the Duchess didn't. So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess got the Doge, and the Doge got the Duke!
• the fake court jester Hubert Hawkins/Giacomo was under the hypnotic spell of ambitious court witch Griselda (Mildred Natwick); the spell cast on the jester by Griselda could hilariously be undone - and reinstated - by just a snap of the fingers, with comic results; it was employed in the scene in which he was hypnotized (to believe he was a dashing lover) and he snuck into the chambers of the King's daughter, Princess Gwendolyn (Angela Lansbury), to woo her: ("What manner of man is Giacomo? Ha ha! I shall tell you what manner of man is he. He lives for a sigh, he dies for a kiss, he lusts for the laugh, ha! He never walks when he can leap! He never flees when he can fight (thud), Oop! He swoons at the beauty of a rose. And I offer myself to you, all of me. My heart. My lips. My legs. My calves. Do what you will - my love endures. Beat me. Kick me. (kiss, kiss) I am yours")
• Hubert Hawkins/Giacomo and witch Griselda (Mildred Natwick) had a discussion about a riddle, with instructions on how to avoid a poisoned drink; specifically, it was about his having to remember the cup location for a pre-joust toast with a drink that was poisoned, but then -- there was much confusion with a change in the directions, with hilarious results:
  - "I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle. The chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?"
  - "Right. But there's been a change. They broke the chalice from the palace!"
  - "They broke the chalice from the palace?"
  - "And replaced it with a flagon."
  - "A flagon...?"
  - "With the figure of a dragon."
  - "Flagon with a dragon."
  - "Right."
  - "But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?"
  - "No! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!"
  - "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true."
  - "Just remember that..."

"Crocodile" Dundee (1986)

• the scene in which Australian Outback ranger Michael (Mick) J. 'Crocodile' Dundee (Paul Hogan, co-nominated for Best Original Screenplay) rescued American reporter Sue Charlton (Hogan's real-life wife Linda Kozlowski) from a crocodile in the wild as she was going for a swim (and a croc lunged out of the water, grabbed her necklace, and threatened to pull her in); he twisted a knife into the crocodile's head, and when she asked: "Is it dead?" he replied: "Well, if it isn't, I'm goin' to have a hell of a job skinnin' the bastard"; afterwards, he roasted it like a giant shish kabob
• the fish-out-of-water sequences in New York City, including the memorable scene in which the leader of a street gang with a small switch-blade knife attempted to mug Dundee - the unflappable and chuckling 'Crocodile' man responded as he pulled out his large bushwhacker Bowie knife -- "THAT's a knife!", and then slashed the tough's jacket; after the gang fled, he said amiably to Sue: "Just kids having fun!"
• the final scene set in a crowded subway station in which messages were relayed from Sue to Mick from bystander to bystander: (Sue: "Tell him not to leave. I'm not going to marry Richard...Tell him I love him"), and then Mick climbed up to the girders to gain height and walked to Sue on the heads and raised hands of the onlookers: ("I'll tell her meself. I'm coming through") - to tell her of his love and to kiss her - before a freeze-frame and the ending credits